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Fermat and I invented probability theory by analyzing gambling. I'll teach you expected value, risk assessment, and Pascal's Wager. You'll leave understanding why the house always wins and why you should still play.

I'll teach you the gospel guitar techniques that became rock and roll. Palm muting, string bending, distortion with feel. Church music with fire. Bring your guitar and your voice.

I invented the rock guitar riff. I'll teach you the first ten. By the end of the session you'll play Johnny B. Goode, Roll Over Beethoven, and Rock and Roll Music. These are the DNA of every rock song that followed.

I don't teach you to play pretty. I teach you to play LOUD. Standing up. Kicking the bench. One foot on the keys. The piano is not a delicate instrument -- it's a 900-pound percussion weapon and you need to HIT IT. A-WOP-BOP-A-LOO-BOP!

The New Orleans piano style: rolling left hand, triplet feel, second-line rhythm. I'll teach you Blueberry Hill and Ain't That a Shame. Creole cooking playlist included because you can't play this music hungry.

I started singing gospel in church. I ended singing everything. I'll help you find your voice -- not my voice, YOUR voice. We work on breath control, vibrato, and the thing nobody teaches: vulnerability. If you're not scared when you sing, you're not singing hard enough.

The Beatles named themselves after my band. That's because I wrote my own songs -- at a time when nobody did. I'll teach you song structure: verse, chorus, bridge. Three chords and the truth. Write something today that didn't exist yesterday.

I'll teach you to build a guitar from scratch. Cigar box, plywood, whatever you've got. Electronics, pickups, wiring. The rectangular guitar I played on stage? Built it in my garage. You can build yours in mine.

I arrange entire orchestras in my head, note by note. I can't see the sheet music -- I hear it. I'll teach you to arrange a song for voice and piano, then add horn lines, strings, backup vocals. Start simple. Build. Every arrangement is architecture.

A right-handed Strat strung upside down for left-hand playing. The reversed string tension changes everything -- the tone, the bending, the harmonics. This is why I sounded different from everyone. It's not magic. It's physics and stubbornness.

Wah-wah, fuzz face, Uni-Vibe, Octavia. I turned noise into music. I'll show you how each pedal works, how to chain them, and how to use feedback as an instrument. The Star-Spangled Banner at Woodstock was feedback, distortion, and the sound of a nation tearing itself apart.

Private piano lessons focusing on touch, pedaling, and rubato. I don't teach you to play loud. I teach you to play with feeling. Bring your worst piece -- we'll find the music hiding inside it.