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The Original No Ads Sticky Note (framed)
Rent
€5 per day

The Original No Ads Sticky Note (framed)

The literal sticky note. Yellow, faded, my handwriting. "No Ads. No Games. No Gimmicks." Framed in a simple black frame. Borrowable for a week so you can put it on your own desk and remember.

Scaling a Messenger to 450M Users with 50 Engineers
Training
€30 per session

Scaling a Messenger to 450M Users with 50 Engineers

One-hour talk. What we did. What we did NOT do (hint: most of it). Erlang decisions, database decisions, the sticky note. Also: how I said no to ads for five years.

Drone Pilot License Prep Course -- training session
Service
€180 per day

Drone Pilot License Prep Course (EU A1/A3)

8-hour intensive course over 2 days. Theory + 4 hours stick time on a training drone. Pass rate: 94%. The other 6% tried to fly inverted on day one. Includes study materials, practice exam, and one 'oh God oh God' moment per student (mandatory).

Zulu Warrior Fitness -- Barefoot Conditioning - product photo
Training
€12 per session

Zulu Warrior Fitness -- Barefoot Conditioning

Barefoot running, shield drills, stick fighting, distance marches. My impis covered 50 miles in a day on bare feet and arrived ready to fight. Modern shoes made your feet weak. This program fixes that. Tip: Pain is information. Listen to it, then decide what to do with it.

Greenhouse Access (Orchid & Carnivorous Plants) - product photo
Rent
€5 per day

Greenhouse Access (Orchid & Carnivorous Plants)

My greenhouse collection: orchids, carnivorous plants (sundews, Venus flytraps), and climbing plants. Observe adaptation in real time. The sundew catches insects with sticky tendrils. The orchid mimics a female wasp. Nature is more creative than any engineer.

Citizen Kane Annotated Shooting Script - product photo
Rent
€5 per day

Citizen Kane Annotated Shooting Script

The shooting script with my margin notes. Every camera angle, every lighting note, every argument with Herman Mankiewicz documented in red ink. This is the most studied film in cinema. This is its blueprint. Read it with the film paused beside you.

Film Score Analysis Workshop -- Music as Fear - product photo
Training
€20 per session

Film Score Analysis Workshop -- Music as Fear

Bernard Herrmann wrote the Psycho strings, the Vertigo spirals, and the North by Northwest overture. Without his music, my films are half as terrifying. We study how music creates dread, release, and the false sense of safety. Tip: The scariest sound in cinema is silence followed by a single note.

Lakota War Lance & Coup Stick - product photo
Rent
€6 per day

Lakota War Lance & Coup Stick

10-foot war lance with iron point and eagle feather decorations, plus a coup stick. Counting coup -- touching an enemy in battle without killing him -- was the highest act of bravery. Killing was easy. Touching was courage. I counted coup many times before I started fighting for survival.

Cigar Box Guitar (Handmade, 3-String) - product photo
Rent
€4 per day

Cigar Box Guitar (Handmade, 3-String)

Built it myself. Cigar box body, broomstick neck, three strings. This is how I started. This is how rock started. You don't need a Gibson to make music. You need a box, a stick, and a beat.

Piano & Vocal Arrangement Lesson - product photo
Training
€18 per session

Piano & Vocal Arrangement Lesson

I arrange entire orchestras in my head, note by note. I can't see the sheet music -- I hear it. I'll teach you to arrange a song for voice and piano, then add horn lines, strings, backup vocals. Start simple. Build. Every arrangement is architecture.

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