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Small group poetry workshop in my garden. We write, we read aloud, we revise. I focus on lyric poetry -- short, intense, personal. Bring something you've been afraid to say. That's where the poem lives.

Aluminium scaffold tower, 2m working platform height (3.7m reach). Lockable wheels, adjustable legs, safety rail. Holds 150kg. Fits through standard doors. Way safer than a ladder.

Learn to structure stories that people can't stop reading. We work on chapter endings, pacing, character reveals, and the art of making your audience come back next week. I wrote A Christmas Carol in six weeks and it changed Western culture. Speed is not the enemy of quality.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. I'll teach you to use it. We'll work on voice, timing, and the art of saying true things that make people laugh instead of cry. Bring something you've written. I'll be honest. Honest is all I know how to be.

I'll teach you to build a guitar from scratch. Cigar box, plywood, whatever you've got. Electronics, pickups, wiring. The rectangular guitar I played on stage? Built it in my garage. You can build yours in mine.

Fermat and I invented probability theory by analyzing gambling. I'll teach you expected value, risk assessment, and Pascal's Wager. You'll leave understanding why the house always wins and why you should still play.

Working replica of my mechanical calculator. Six wheels. Automatic carry. Addition and subtraction. I built the original at 19 for my father. Turn the wheels and watch mathematics happen through pure mechanism.

Packets, routing, TCP handshakes, DNS resolution. I designed TCP/IP and I'll explain it with diagrams and a glass of wine. You'll never look at a loading spinner the same way again.

I'll teach you what I proved in my master's thesis: switches are logic. AND, OR, NOT. Wire them together and you can compute anything. We build circuits on a breadboard. By the end, you'll have a working binary adder made of transistors. From there, it's just scale.

Working replica of the Wehrmacht 3-rotor Enigma. 159 quintillion possible settings. Type a letter, the rotors turn, the lampboard lights up the encrypted letter. I broke it with logic, not brute force. Try to crack a message yourself -- I'll give you hints.

I don't teach technique. I teach seeing. We go outside, we look at the sky, and I show you that it's not blue -- it's cobalt and ultramarine and violet and green, swirling. The color is the feeling. The brushstroke is the heartbeat. If your painting looks like a photograph, you're not painting -- you're copying.

One light source. Complete darkness. That's all you need for the most dramatic images in the world. I'll teach you to see light the way I painted it -- as a weapon. Works for painters, photographers, and filmmakers. Bring your camera or your canvas.