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I'll teach you to paint a face that looks like a person, not a photograph. We work in oil on canvas, natural light from one window. The secret isn't technique -- it's empathy. You have to love the face you're painting, even the ugly ones. Especially the ugly ones.

Tabletop intaglio press for etching, drypoint, and aquatint. Adjustable pressure, steel rollers. I produced 300 etchings on a press like this. Print editions of your drawings, or learn the process from scratch.

Lead white, yellow ochre, raw umber, burnt sienna, vermillion, bone black. The exact palette I used. Six colors. That's enough to paint anything if you understand value. Modern cadmium substitutes included because lead will kill you.

One light source. Complete darkness. That's all you need for the most dramatic images in the world. I'll teach you to see light the way I painted it -- as a weapon. Works for painters, photographers, and filmmakers. Bring your camera or your canvas.

Every play, every sonnet, every poem. Annotated with historical context, word definitions, and stage directions. 1,200 pages. This is the entire human condition bound in leather. Borrow it, read one play, return it. Or keep it for a month and read them all.

Learn to perform Shakespeare without being terrified of the language. We start with the insults (those are the fun part), work through the monologues, and end with a scene. No experience needed. Just a voice and a willingness to look foolish -- that's how all great actors start.

Aluminum scaffolding tower, adjustable height up to 6 meters. Platform, guard rails, locking casters. I spent 4 years on scaffolding painting the Sistine Chapel. You probably need it for a weekend to paint your ceiling. Trust me, a ladder is not enough.

Learn buon fresco: painting directly onto wet plaster so the pigment becomes part of the wall. You have about 8 hours before it dries. No corrections. No undo button. The technique is 3,000 years old and it's still the most permanent form of painting that exists.

Point chisel, tooth chisel, flat chisel, claw chisel, rasps, rifflers. The same tool types I used on the David. Carbide-tipped for modern marble. I'll show you how to find the figure hiding in the stone.

Quills, iron gall ink, parchment. The tools I used to write 14,233 lines by hand. I'll show you how to hold the quill and form the letters. Your handwriting will never be the same.

Read the Comedy with someone who wrote it. I'll explain the cosmology, the politics, the theology, and the jokes (yes, there are jokes). Also available: Italian language lessons through poetry. You'll learn Italian the way Italians actually feel it.

We read poetry. We sit in silence. We spin. This is not a class -- it's a practice. Bring nothing but yourself. Leave your opinions at the door. The heart knows things the mind will never understand.