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Naginata Training -- The Warrior Woman's Weapon
The naginata -- a curved blade on a long pole, the traditional weapon of the onna-bugeisha (female warrior). Sweeping cuts, thrusts, and the devastating ankle strikes that unhorse mounted samurai. I will teach you the kata and free sparring. Tip: Reach defeats strength. Keep them at naginata distance and they cannot touch you with a sword.
Yumi Longbow (Japanese, Asymmetric, 7-foot)
Traditional Japanese yumi, 7 feet tall, bamboo and wood laminate. The asymmetric grip (held at the lower third) allows shooting from horseback. My mounted archery was accurate at 100 yards at full gallop. The yumi requires years to master -- start with standing shots.
Samurai Mounted Archery (Yabusame) Training
Yabusame: mounted archery at gallop, hitting targets on a narrow lane. Sacred Shinto practice and deadly combat skill. Draw, release, recover -- all while controlling the horse with your knees. I will start you at a walk. The gallop comes when the horse says you are ready.
O-Yoroi Samurai Armor Set (Display & Training)
Full o-yoroi great armor -- lamellar plates, silk lacing, iron kabuto helmet with menpo face guard. Designed for mounted archery. The wide shoulder guards deflect arrows from above. Heavy but magnificent. I wore armor like this when I took heads at Awazu.
Arabian Cavalry Tactics -- Speed & Initiative
Light cavalry on Arabian horses -- the fastest, most enduring mounts in the world. Flanking attacks, pursuit, feigned retreat, desert crossing at forced march. At Yarmouk, my cavalry reserves struck the Byzantine flank at the decisive moment. Tip: Reserves are not idle men. They are the hammer you hold behind your back.
Arabian Saif Sword (Curved, Early Islamic Period)
Early Islamic saif -- gently curved, 34-inch blade, ideal for mounted combat. Lighter than the European longsword, faster in the draw. I broke nine swords at Uhud in a single battle. A warrior needs a blade that matches his speed.
Professional Cookie Cutter Set (200 pieces)
Commercial-grade stainless steel cookie cutters. Every shape you can imagine -- Christmas, Easter, animals, letters, numbers. 40 years of collecting. Ship & return available.
Mobile Broadcasting Kit (Laptop + Mic + Camera)
Everything you need to broadcast from anywhere on Earth. Laptop, USB condenser mic, webcam with decent low-light, portable ring light, and a VPN because you'll need one. I've broadcast from jungles, hotel rooms, and the back of vans. The truth doesn't need a studio.
Documentary Filmmaking Workshop -- Truth on a Budget
You don't need a studio. You don't need a crew. You need a camera, a microphone, a laptop, and something worth saying. I'll teach you to research, script, edit, and publish a documentary that changes how people see the world. The mainstream won't touch your story? Good. Publish it yourself. That's what the internet is for.
Rat (Signed Print -- Or Is It?)
A print of one of my rats. Signed. Or is it? That's the question with everything I make. Authentication in the art world is a racket. This print is real if you believe it's real. Isn't that how all art works? Comes with a certificate of ambiguity.
Professional Stencil Kit (Multi-Layer)
Mylar sheets, precision craft knife, self-healing cutting mat, spray paint adaptor for even coverage. Everything you need to make multi-layer stencils that look like they were screenprinted. Also includes a hoodie. You'll need the hoodie.
Stencil Making Workshop -- Your Message on Any Wall
I'll teach you to cut stencils, mix paint ratios, and get your message up in under sixty seconds. The art is in the preparation -- the execution takes less time than a traffic light. We practice on canvas first. What you do after that is your business. I never saw you. You were never here.
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