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One glass slide, one steel slide. The tools that turned Delta blues into electric Chicago blues. I'll show you open tuning, slide technique, and how to make a guitar cry. The blues isn't about being sad. It's about surviving.

The New Orleans piano style: rolling left hand, triplet feel, second-line rhythm. I'll teach you Blueberry Hill and Ain't That a Shame. Creole cooking playlist included because you can't play this music hungry.

I don't teach you to play pretty. I teach you to play LOUD. Standing up. Kicking the bench. One foot on the keys. The piano is not a delicate instrument -- it's a 900-pound percussion weapon and you need to HIT IT. A-WOP-BOP-A-LOO-BOP!

I invented the rock guitar riff. I'll teach you the first ten. By the end of the session you'll play Johnny B. Goode, Roll Over Beethoven, and Rock and Roll Music. These are the DNA of every rock song that followed.

I'll teach you the gospel guitar techniques that became rock and roll. Palm muting, string bending, distortion with feel. Church music with fire. Bring your guitar and your voice.

Fermat and I invented probability theory by analyzing gambling. I'll teach you expected value, risk assessment, and Pascal's Wager. You'll leave understanding why the house always wins and why you should still play.

I co-invented game theory. I'll teach you the fundamentals: zero-sum games, Nash equilibrium, minimax strategy. We play actual games -- poker, chess, negotiation scenarios. By the end you'll understand why rational actors still make irrational decisions.

Packets, routing, TCP handshakes, DNS resolution. I designed TCP/IP and I'll explain it with diagrams and a glass of wine. You'll never look at a loading spinner the same way again.

I invented the web. I'll teach you to use it. We start with a plain HTML file, no frameworks, no build tools. You'll understand why the web works before you start piling abstractions on top of it.

I wrote Git in two weeks because I was angry. I'll teach it to you in two hours because you need it. Branching, merging, rebasing, conflict resolution. The fundamentals that 90% of developers still don't understand.

MIG welder, 200A, gas/gasless. Good for steel, stainless, aluminum with the right wire. NOT for beginners -- you need to know what you're doing or book a training session.

Mike Kenel

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BCD, regulator, octopus, pressure gauge, dive computer. I dive to get away from mailing lists. You should dive to get away from whatever is making you angry. Fits medium-large builds. Wetsuit not included.