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Mylar sheets, precision craft knife, self-healing cutting mat, spray paint adaptor for even coverage. Everything you need to make multi-layer stencils that look like they were screenprinted. Also includes a hoodie. You'll need the hoodie.

Afrobeat songs last forty-five minutes because that's how long it takes to reach transcendence. I'll teach you the interlocking rhythms -- drums, percussion, bass, guitar, horns -- that create the groove. Everyone plays a pattern. Nobody plays the whole thing. Together, you are unstoppable.

We write stories that are puzzles. Stories where the form IS the content. A detective story that is also a metaphysical treatise. A book review of a book that doesn't exist. I'll teach you to write fiction that makes the reader think they are dreaming while fully awake.

The essay is the most dangerous literary form because it requires you to think clearly and say what you mean. No hiding behind characters. No hiding behind metaphor. Just you and the truth and the page. I'll teach you to write sentences that change the temperature in the room.

Full set: driver, 3-wood, 5-wood, 4-PW irons, sand wedge, putter. Bag with stand included. Good enough to play 18 holes, not so expensive you cry when you shank one into the lake. Return them clean.

Grip, stance, swing, follow through. I don't teach you to hit it far. I teach you to hit it straight. Consistency beats distance every time. Just like Albert Kenel said: do it right or don't do it. Clubs provided.

Kubota KX91-3, 3.5 ton mini excavator. Rubber tracks, extendable arm, multiple bucket sizes. Perfect for residential foundations, pool digs, drainage work. I'll deliver it and show you the controls. Break something? Call me. I'll fix it.

Everyone has a story that needs telling. I went mute for five years and then I couldn't stop talking. We'll work on memory, honesty, and the courage to write the parts that scare you. Those are the parts that matter. Bring nothing but yourself and something to write with.

Write the impossible as if it were the most natural thing in the world. That's the technique. No winking at the reader. No 'this is strange.' Just: 'It rained for four years, eleven months, and two days.' Stated as fact. Because in Macondo, it is. Bring a family story that nobody believes. We'll turn it into literature.

We will take your sentences apart and rebuild them. A sentence is not just communication. It is music, rhythm, architecture. Every word earns its place or it leaves. I edited for twenty years before I published. Bring your best paragraph. We'll find out if it's really your best.

The church is where it all starts. I'll teach you to sing from the diaphragm, to bend notes, to build from a whisper to a scream that fills the room. Gospel technique is the foundation of all American popular music. If you can sing gospel, you can sing anything.

I write the words first. Always. The melody finds its way to the words. We'll work on imagery, metaphor, and the art of saying something so specific it becomes universal. Bring a notebook. Leave your guitar at home for the first session.