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A print of one of my rats. Signed. Or is it? That's the question with everything I make. Authentication in the art world is a racket. This print is real if you believe it's real. Isn't that how all art works? Comes with a certificate of ambiguity.

I'll teach you to cut stencils, mix paint ratios, and get your message up in under sixty seconds. The art is in the preparation -- the execution takes less time than a traffic light. We practice on canvas first. What you do after that is your business. I never saw you. You were never here.

I play in fifty different tunings because standard tuning bored me. I'll teach you DADGAD, open D, open C, and my own tunings that don't have names. Different tunings make the guitar a different instrument. One guitar, fifty voices.

Full set: driver, 3-wood, 5-wood, 4-PW irons, sand wedge, putter. Bag with stand included. Good enough to play 18 holes, not so expensive you cry when you shank one into the lake. Return them clean.

Everyone has a story that needs telling. I went mute for five years and then I couldn't stop talking. We'll work on memory, honesty, and the courage to write the parts that scare you. Those are the parts that matter. Bring nothing but yourself and something to write with.

Sit-on-top tandem kayak (2 person). Stable, easy to paddle, great for exploring the coast between Trapani and San Vito. Includes 2 paddles, 2 life vests, dry bag, and a basic map of good spots. I'll meet you at the beach and show you how to launch.

George Clooney

🇬🇧 🇮🇹

I'll teach you to create a character you can perform as -- costume, voice, attitude, mythology. Then we'll retire that character and build another one. The point isn't the mask. The point is the freedom the mask gives you to be truthful.

The strum that changed the world hits on the upbeat. That's it. That's the secret. But making it groove -- that's what we'll work on. I'll teach you the skank, the one-drop rhythm, and how to make three chords feel like freedom.

The church is where it all starts. I'll teach you to sing from the diaphragm, to bend notes, to build from a whisper to a scream that fills the room. Gospel technique is the foundation of all American popular music. If you can sing gospel, you can sing anything.

Full bike tune-up: brakes, gears, chain, tires, cables, bearings. I work on road bikes, mountain bikes, city bikes, and e-bikes (non-motor parts). 10 years as a weekend mechanic. Drop off at my shed or I come to you (within Trapani). Most tune-ups done in 1-2 hours while you wait.

George Clooney

🇬🇧 🇮🇹

Winsor & Newton oil paints (24 colours), brushes (15 assorted), palette, easel, canvas boards (5), turpentine, linseed oil, palette knife set. Everything a beginner or intermediate painter needs.

Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci

🇮🇹 🌐 🇫🇷

I write the words first. Always. The melody finds its way to the words. We'll work on imagery, metaphor, and the art of saying something so specific it becomes universal. Bring a notebook. Leave your guitar at home for the first session.