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Learn to decompose problems into repeatable steps. We start with simple sequences, add loops, add conditionals, and build up to something that could compute Bernoulli numbers -- the algorithm I wrote in 1843. Paper and pencil only. No computers. The machine is not the point. The pattern is the point.

A set of Jacquard punch cards and a demonstration reader. These are the ancestors of computer programs -- patterns encoded in holes. The loom doesn't think. It follows the card. The card is the algorithm. Babbage borrowed the idea. I wrote the first algorithm for it.

Learn the fundamentals of code-breaking. Caesar ciphers, substitution ciphers, frequency analysis, and the principles behind Enigma. No math degree required -- just patience and the willingness to think backwards.

I'll teach you to debug anything -- hardware, software, processes, organizations. The method is the same: isolate, measure, hypothesize, test. Stop guessing. Start measuring. And tape the bug into the logbook when you find it.

The same model I'd use if I were debugging hardware today. Measures voltage, current, resistance, capacitance, frequency, temperature. If you can measure it, you can fix it. If you can't measure it, you're guessing.

Four hearing devices from different periods of my deafness, faithfully reproduced. From the early brass cone to the elaborate conversation devices Johann Maelzel built for me. A sobering reminder that the most famous music in history was composed in silence.

Learn to play my sonatas. Moonlight, Pathetique, Appassionata, Waldstein, Hammerklavier. We start with the ones you can handle and work up to the ones that break you. The Hammerklavier has destroyed better pianists than you. That's what makes it worth trying.

Franco-Flemish double-manual harpsichord. Two 8-foot registers, one 4-foot. Proper temperament for Baroque repertoire. I wrote the Well-Tempered Clavier to prove every key was playable. This instrument proves it. Tuning included -- I'll come tune it at your venue.

Every play, every sonnet, every poem. Annotated with historical context, word definitions, and stage directions. 1,200 pages. This is the entire human condition bound in leather. Borrow it, read one play, return it. Or keep it for a month and read them all.

My improved astrolabe design. Measures the altitude of stars and planets, tells time, finds latitude. The GPS of antiquity. Brass construction, hand-engraved. I'll teach you to read the sky.

My compound pulley design. 4:1 mechanical advantage. Lift 400kg with 100kg of force. I once pulled an entire ship onto shore using one of these to prove a point to King Hieron. Bring your own rope.

Working model of my water-lifting screw. Turns by hand, lifts water uphill. Still the best irrigation device for low-tech farming. I invented this 2,300 years ago and nobody's improved on it.