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Learn the fundamentals of code-breaking. Caesar ciphers, substitution ciphers, frequency analysis, and the principles behind Enigma. No math degree required -- just patience and the willingness to think backwards.

The same model I'd use if I were debugging hardware today. Measures voltage, current, resistance, capacitance, frequency, temperature. If you can measure it, you can fix it. If you can't measure it, you're guessing.

Forget flattering yourself. Paint what's real. The scars, the joy, the fury, the love. We work in oil or acrylic on small canvases. I'll teach you about color symbolism from Mexican folk art -- what red means, what blue means, why I put monkeys and parrots in my paintings. Bring a mirror. Bring honesty.

French box easel, oil paints (18 colors including chrome yellow -- my obsession), brushes, turpentine, linseed oil, and 6 pre-stretched canvases. Everything you need to paint outdoors the way the Impressionists did. Go to a wheat field. Set up. Paint what you feel, not what you see.

Four hearing devices from different periods of my deafness, faithfully reproduced. From the early brass cone to the elaborate conversation devices Johann Maelzel built for me. A sobering reminder that the most famous music in history was composed in silence.

I'll teach you what my father taught me: start with a melody that a child can hum. Then build. Harmony, counterpoint, orchestration. A symphony is just a melody that grew up. No prior theory needed -- if you can sing, you can compose.

Learn to write a fugue. Two voices, then three, then four. Each voice independent, all voices together forming something greater than the sum. This is not just music theory -- it's how to think in parallel. Programmers love it. Every thread independent, every thread synchronized.

Franco-Flemish double-manual harpsichord. Two 8-foot registers, one 4-foot. Proper temperament for Baroque repertoire. I wrote the Well-Tempered Clavier to prove every key was playable. This instrument proves it. Tuning included -- I'll come tune it at your venue.

I'll teach you to paint a face that looks like a person, not a photograph. We work in oil on canvas, natural light from one window. The secret isn't technique -- it's empathy. You have to love the face you're painting, even the ugly ones. Especially the ugly ones.

Tabletop intaglio press for etching, drypoint, and aquatint. Adjustable pressure, steel rollers. I produced 300 etchings on a press like this. Print editions of your drawings, or learn the process from scratch.

Learn buon fresco: painting directly onto wet plaster so the pigment becomes part of the wall. You have about 8 hours before it dries. No corrections. No undo button. The technique is 3,000 years old and it's still the most permanent form of painting that exists.

Private or small group geometry lessons. We start from five axioms and build everything. No calculators. No shortcuts. Compass, straightedge, and your mind. I've been doing this for 2,300 years and the method hasn't changed because it doesn't need to.