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We paint flowers big enough that people have to stop and look. Six-foot canvases. Close-up. No background. Just the flower filling your entire field of vision. Bring your own flowers -- the ones from your garden, not the florist. Real ones.

I write the words first. Always. The melody finds its way to the words. We'll work on imagery, metaphor, and the art of saying something so specific it becomes universal. Bring a notebook. Leave your guitar at home for the first session.

We will take your sentences apart and rebuild them. A sentence is not just communication. It is music, rhythm, architecture. Every word earns its place or it leaves. I edited for twenty years before I published. Bring your best paragraph. We'll find out if it's really your best.

Write the impossible as if it were the most natural thing in the world. That's the technique. No winking at the reader. No 'this is strange.' Just: 'It rained for four years, eleven months, and two days.' Stated as fact. Because in Macondo, it is. Bring a family story that nobody believes. We'll turn it into literature.

Everyone has a story that needs telling. I went mute for five years and then I couldn't stop talking. We'll work on memory, honesty, and the courage to write the parts that scare you. Those are the parts that matter. Bring nothing but yourself and something to write with.

I'll teach you to rewrite. And rewrite. And rewrite. Hallelujah took eighty drafts. That's not failure. That's craft. We start with a feeling, turn it into an image, then carve it into a verse. Bring patience. This is a slow art.

The essay is the most dangerous literary form because it requires you to think clearly and say what you mean. No hiding behind characters. No hiding behind metaphor. Just you and the truth and the page. I'll teach you to write sentences that change the temperature in the room.

Mylar sheets, precision craft knife, self-healing cutting mat, spray paint adaptor for even coverage. Everything you need to make multi-layer stencils that look like they were screenprinted. Also includes a hoodie. You'll need the hoodie.

One light source. Complete darkness. That's all you need for the most dramatic images in the world. I'll teach you to see light the way I painted it -- as a weapon. Works for painters, photographers, and filmmakers. Bring your camera or your canvas.

Learn to perform Shakespeare without being terrified of the language. We start with the insults (those are the fun part), work through the monologues, and end with a scene. No experience needed. Just a voice and a willingness to look foolish -- that's how all great actors start.

Learn buon fresco: painting directly onto wet plaster so the pigment becomes part of the wall. You have about 8 hours before it dries. No corrections. No undo button. The technique is 3,000 years old and it's still the most permanent form of painting that exists.

Complete camp kitchen: 2-burner stove, 4-person cookware set, utensils, cutting board, collapsible wash basin, water container (20L), and fold-out kitchen table with windscreen. Cook like home, outdoors.