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Professional Karcher carpet cleaner. Hot water extraction. Cleans carpets, upholstery, car seats. Does in 1 hour what a rented supermarket machine does in 4. Cleaning solution included.

John Abela

🇬🇧 🇮🇹 🇲🇹

You don't need a studio. You don't need a crew. You need a camera, a microphone, a laptop, and something worth saying. I'll teach you to research, script, edit, and publish a documentary that changes how people see the world. The mainstream won't touch your story? Good. Publish it yourself. That's what the internet is for.

A print of one of my rats. Signed. Or is it? That's the question with everything I make. Authentication in the art world is a racket. This print is real if you believe it's real. Isn't that how all art works? Comes with a certificate of ambiguity.

I'll teach you to cut stencils, mix paint ratios, and get your message up in under sixty seconds. The art is in the preparation -- the execution takes less time than a traffic light. We practice on canvas first. What you do after that is your business. I never saw you. You were never here.

Afrobeat songs last forty-five minutes because that's how long it takes to reach transcendence. I'll teach you the interlocking rhythms -- drums, percussion, bass, guitar, horns -- that create the groove. Everyone plays a pattern. Nobody plays the whole thing. Together, you are unstoppable.

We write stories that are puzzles. Stories where the form IS the content. A detective story that is also a metaphysical treatise. A book review of a book that doesn't exist. I'll teach you to write fiction that makes the reader think they are dreaming while fully awake.

Kubota KX91-3, 3.5 ton mini excavator. Rubber tracks, extendable arm, multiple bucket sizes. Perfect for residential foundations, pool digs, drainage work. I'll deliver it and show you the controls. Break something? Call me. I'll fix it.

Plumbing, electrical, mechanical, whatever. I've been fixing things since I could hold a wrench. Albert Kenel taught me: don't stare at it, fix it. Bring the broken thing. I'll tell you what's wrong in thirty seconds and fix it in thirty minutes.

I'll teach you to rewrite. And rewrite. And rewrite. Hallelujah took eighty drafts. That's not failure. That's craft. We start with a feeling, turn it into an image, then carve it into a verse. Bring patience. This is a slow art.

Everyone has a story that needs telling. I went mute for five years and then I couldn't stop talking. We'll work on memory, honesty, and the courage to write the parts that scare you. Those are the parts that matter. Bring nothing but yourself and something to write with.

We will take your sentences apart and rebuild them. A sentence is not just communication. It is music, rhythm, architecture. Every word earns its place or it leaves. I edited for twenty years before I published. Bring your best paragraph. We'll find out if it's really your best.

The church is where it all starts. I'll teach you to sing from the diaphragm, to bend notes, to build from a whisper to a scream that fills the room. Gospel technique is the foundation of all American popular music. If you can sing gospel, you can sing anything.