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I don't teach you to play pretty. I teach you to play LOUD. Standing up. Kicking the bench. One foot on the keys. The piano is not a delicate instrument -- it's a 900-pound percussion weapon and you need to HIT IT. A-WOP-BOP-A-LOO-BOP!

I'll teach you the gospel guitar techniques that became rock and roll. Palm muting, string bending, distortion with feel. Church music with fire. Bring your guitar and your voice.

Fermat and I invented probability theory by analyzing gambling. I'll teach you expected value, risk assessment, and Pascal's Wager. You'll leave understanding why the house always wins and why you should still play.

Working replica of my mechanical calculator. Six wheels. Automatic carry. Addition and subtraction. I built the original at 19 for my father. Turn the wheels and watch mathematics happen through pure mechanism.

Packets, routing, TCP handshakes, DNS resolution. I designed TCP/IP and I'll explain it with diagrams and a glass of wine. You'll never look at a loading spinner the same way again.

BCD, regulator, octopus, pressure gauge, dive computer. I dive to get away from mailing lists. You should dive to get away from whatever is making you angry. Fits medium-large builds. Wetsuit not included.

I'll teach you what I proved in my master's thesis: switches are logic. AND, OR, NOT. Wire them together and you can compute anything. We build circuits on a breadboard. By the end, you'll have a working binary adder made of transistors. From there, it's just scale.

6 practice locks from simple to complex. I was fascinated by locks -- the engineering is beautiful. Pin tumbler, wafer, disc detainer. Legal to own, useful to understand, excellent for developing mechanical intuition.

Learn the fundamentals of code-breaking. Caesar ciphers, substitution ciphers, frequency analysis, and the principles behind Enigma. No math degree required -- just patience and the willingness to think backwards.

Working replica of the Wehrmacht 3-rotor Enigma. 159 quintillion possible settings. Type a letter, the rotors turn, the lampboard lights up the encrypted letter. I broke it with logic, not brute force. Try to crack a message yourself -- I'll give you hints.

Aluminum scaffolding tower, adjustable height up to 6 meters. Platform, guard rails, locking casters. I spent 4 years on scaffolding painting the Sistine Chapel. You probably need it for a weekend to paint your ceiling. Trust me, a ladder is not enough.

We read poetry. We sit in silence. We spin. This is not a class -- it's a practice. Bring nothing but yourself. Leave your opinions at the door. The heart knows things the mind will never understand.