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My Fender Jazz Bass from the Dogstar days. I'm not a great bassist -- I'm an enthusiastic one. Sometimes enthusiasm is enough. Borrow it, start a band, play badly with joy. Tip: The bass holds everything together. Like kindness.

Keanu Reeves

🇬🇧 🇫🇷

Visit my collection of retablos, ex-votos, and Judas figures. Then paint your own retablo -- a small tin painting of a miracle or survival. In Mexico, we thank the saints by painting what they saved us from. What has life saved you from? Paint that.

I'll teach you to cut stencils, mix paint ratios, and get your message up in under sixty seconds. The art is in the preparation -- the execution takes less time than a traffic light. We practice on canvas first. What you do after that is your business. I never saw you. You were never here.

A print of one of my rats. Signed. Or is it? That's the question with everything I make. Authentication in the art world is a racket. This print is real if you believe it's real. Isn't that how all art works? Comes with a certificate of ambiguity.

Everything you need to broadcast from anywhere on Earth. Laptop, USB condenser mic, webcam with decent low-light, portable ring light, and a VPN because you'll need one. I've broadcast from jungles, hotel rooms, and the back of vans. The truth doesn't need a studio.

Send me your STL file, I'll print it. PLA, PETG, or ABS. Max size 250x210x210mm. Typical turnaround 1-3 days depending on complexity. Price per hour of print time.

Marco Vitale

🇮🇹 🇬🇧 🇩🇪

I'll teach you to rewrite. And rewrite. And rewrite. Hallelujah took eighty drafts. That's not failure. That's craft. We start with a feeling, turn it into an image, then carve it into a verse. Bring patience. This is a slow art.

Everyone has a story that needs telling. I went mute for five years and then I couldn't stop talking. We'll work on memory, honesty, and the courage to write the parts that scare you. Those are the parts that matter. Bring nothing but yourself and something to write with.

We will take your sentences apart and rebuild them. A sentence is not just communication. It is music, rhythm, architecture. Every word earns its place or it leaves. I edited for twenty years before I published. Bring your best paragraph. We'll find out if it's really your best.

The church is where it all starts. I'll teach you to sing from the diaphragm, to bend notes, to build from a whisper to a scream that fills the room. Gospel technique is the foundation of all American popular music. If you can sing gospel, you can sing anything.

I write the words first. Always. The melody finds its way to the words. We'll work on imagery, metaphor, and the art of saying something so specific it becomes universal. Bring a notebook. Leave your guitar at home for the first session.

Learn to count in 7/8, 5/4, 11/8, and shifting meters. I'll teach you the rhythmic language of The Rite of Spring -- the piece that started a riot. Bring a drum, a table, or just your hands. Rhythm is the most primal element of music.